ten thangs
by john ryan gallaghera. sometimes at night i pry my cat's mouth open to smell his weird breath. this was actually something that was shown to me by someone else. it's pretty neat.
b. these are the classes i am taking this semester: global communications, introduction to sociology, world of cells, severe and extreme weather, and introduction to american politics. in addition to these i am taking a bio lab on wednesday afternoons.
c. i finally broke down and got netflix. here is what they've sent me so far: 'shamus', 'bluebeard's eighth wife', 'year of the dragon', 'oh heavenly dog', 'the good fairy', 'worth winning', and 'they all laughed'. my que looks like dis': 'real life', 'dixie dynamite', 'critical condition', 'the gambler', 'the new kids', and 'lady for a day'.

d. last week at the gym i saw this old fat dude completely bare-ass and i couldn't keep myself from laughing at him. usually i opt to freeze when venturing to the gym in my fitness clothes. it had probably been close to two decades since i've seen a man totally naked like that. i hope he didn't catch on that i was uncomfortably laughing at him. when you do shit like that it always comes back to bite you in the ass. for example, if you make fun of people that stutter or have hammertime teef's, sooner or later you start to stutter or develop a crooked smile. i don't wanna look like that man when i am growns up.

e. the other day at the moma i was wondering what i would have to do in order to get tazed by one of the creepy/weird/lurking security guards. but then i wondered what it would take for them to become so infuriated that they would taze my friend abby too. there's something inside all of us that likes to stare utter danger in the face. a traditional example is when you are driving down the road and a big truck is heading your way and you know that you could jerk the wheel and hit-up the big sleep. these thoughts are entertained by a majority of us - yet we don't act upon these impulses. this was sorta like that but there's also the added bonus or recognition that one could gain by desecrating priceless works of art.
f. i like foursquare.
g. my dad wrote me a liberal-bashing email today. he mentioned the town of 'hyannis' three times in this email, however, each time he wrote the town's name, he spelt it a different way. i didn't really have a response for the shit he was rambling about so i corrected his grammar and spelling and it sent it back to him.

h. free.
i. it turns out there are two movies (that i know of) where men are preggers. one, of course, is 'junior' with arnold. the other is this joint called 'rabbit test' from the 70's with billy crystal. from what i hear, this movie is absolutely terrible. still, i really want to see this. you have to ask yourself, which is a more loaded premise for a movie, the pregnant man, or the goddamn tooth fairy.

j. since i've got this new berry with these new digits, these people continuously call me and demand things to me in spanish. i have no idea what they are saying. the only things i know how to say in spanish are: 'arroz con pollo' (chicken w/ rice), 'donde esta la playa' (where is the beach?) (this is also a song by the walkmen), 'te voy a cortar' (i'm gonna cut you), and 'yo no se' (i don't know). so i say these things to them and they start laughing. in part, i think they continue to call back in order to hear the crazy spanglish i am going to say to them. the other part of them is probably trying to find their cool friend that owes them some
dinero.